Pity
by SunKing
Summary: "No. No, no, no. You've done the ultimate no, Bella. The pity date. Nothing is ever more awkward than the pity date." A shy Edward acts on a decade's worth of affection, and Bella wonders if her yes should have been no.
1. Pity

I couldn't wait to post, so I ran off and left my beta behind for this one. Any mistakes are mine. TiffanyAnne3 is gonna help with the rest of the story. It's short, sweet, probably a little dirty (but not that kind of dirty. Gotta keep it T, folks.) Hope you enjoy. More information at the bottom.

oOo

"That guy is staring at you." Rosalie tilted her head and pointed with her chin before downing the last of her martini.

"Not a chance in hell," I said lightly.

I wasn't hard to look at when I was on my own, but no one lingered on me when Rose was around. It didn't hurt my feelings. Part of me was used to it, and the rest of me knew that a lingerie model was just going to get stares. When Alice was with us, I was even more invisible. Alice was as tiny as Rose was tall, with black hair, dark eyes, and perfectly formed features that gave her the look of a china doll. It was not a show of low self-esteem for me to assume that whoever couldn't look away was actually staring at my friends.

"He's definitely looking at you. Oh, I'll prove it. He's headed this way, and he's a winner; let me tell you."

Any excitement I felt over getting some kind of attention while Rosalie was around fizzled quickly. Her tone told me everything I needed to know, and then her words reiterated. The guy was a loser of epic proportions, and he was fixated on me.

_Of course._

I knew who she was talking about the moment I saw him. I couldn't see much except wild, reddish-blond hair and huge black glasses. Something about him was familiar, but it was probably the standard issue Momma's Boy sweater he wore—or the brown corduroy slacks. He was everyguy, ready to hit on me, the everygirl. Of all the girls in the bar, I probably looked like the surest thing. If he were wearing anything else, I might have been.

"Bella? Bella Swan?"

_Well, shit._ He knew me—which meant I knew him. While he really was familiar, absolutely no name came to mind. Nothing was more awkward than being recognized by someone I didn't know.

"I'll just go get another drink," Rosalie said with a smirk.

I flashed her a pleading look, but she was already gone. Her chair sat empty, inviting the non-stranger to sit down. He did.

"I can't believe it's you…and here, of all places! Long way from Forks, aren't we?"

Ah, Forks. Well, that gave me a few more hints, since I hadn't been back to Forks in almost ten years. The day I graduated, I said my goodbyes and fled. Dad visited me as often as he could and never pressured me to return the favor. It helped that he liked New York a lot. He never stated the obvious—that I had too much of my mother in me. The small town just choked the life out of me, and heartbreak at the hands of Garrett Stone had finished me off.

"Yeah," I answered with a little laugh. "As far as we could get. What brings you to New York?"

I had hopes that his answer might reveal more of him to me—give me some clue as to his identity. He didn't look like anyone I might have run with in high school, but he seemed friendly enough. Something he said would surely spark some kind of recognition. I hoped, at least.

"I haven't left since college," he said. "Got my degree, got my master's, got a job. That's how it works, right?"

"Well, yes," I said slowly. "But what kind of job?"

He looked hurt for a moment but then brightened. "I'm a systems architect. You know I always liked computers."

I didn't know that. I didn't know him. And architect sounded more like he designed buildings, not played on computers.

Forks High was a small school. Everyone knew everyone. I should have known the guy in front of me, but for some reason, I was still coming up blank. I thought back to the three hellish years I'd spent there. I'd been a part of the popular crowd, simply because a slender girl without acne problems was accepted with no questions asked. I wasn't a bad student, but I wasn't a great one either. I'd actually stayed on the outskirts until, miraculously, I'd caught the attention of Garrett, the beautiful quarterback.

I remembered Tanya, Kate, and Irina, the beautiful and snotty cheerleaders; Mike Newton, the garrulous and vaguely handsome pitcher for the baseball team; Eric Yorkie, the upright and yet likeable senior class president; and even Angela Weber, the quiet preacher's daughter. I searched the recesses of my brain for the guy sitting in front of me, getting vague flashes of a kid even further on the outskirts than I had been. There was a sweater, a lock of red-gold, a glint of fluorescent lighting off of glasses, and then nothing.

_Who was that kid?_

I pushed harder into my memory, before prom night when Garrett had disappeared with Kate and left me without a ride home. Before that, before he'd asked me out at the beginning of senior year, there'd been a guy… He'd watched me from the corner of the cafeteria, peeking from underneath his hair after shoving his glasses up to see me better. Wrapped in dull sweaters and an air of rejection, the boy had always done his best to remain invisible. On occasion, he got grief from the people I called friends, but most people left him alone. If I remembered correctly, we'd been in biology class together. I could almost hear Mr. Banner calling on the boy for an answer no one else would hear. What had he called him?

"Edward!" I nearly shouted. "Edward Cullen!"

He sat back in his chair, startled, and smiled. "Well, yes. I thought you knew."

His smile faded quickly to a frown, and I felt terrible for hurting his feelings. After ten years, he'd probably hoped that the high school class system no longer applied. In a city of twelve million people, finding someone I knew was rare enough, let alone running into a guy I'd met all the way across the country. Even without some kind of history together, the circumstances were enough to warrant a hello.

"I'm so sorry," I said quickly. "It was just…so long ago. And this is the last place I ever expect to see anyone from Forks, you know?"

He seemed appeased by my explanation, smiling again. I leaned forward and squeezed his hand briefly, happy to see someone from my past who wasn't attached in any way to the gut wrenching sadness of my last two weeks of school.

"You're probably waiting for someone," he said suddenly, pulling his hand away and looking around quickly.

I almost laughed at the thought of some guy coming to my rescue. There wasn't a guy, and there hadn't been one since graduate school. Marcus had been offended that I wanted to pursue my own career rather than settle down as a trophy wife, and that had been the end of that. I'd been concentrating on rising to senior editor at the small publishing house where I worked, but I still had a few years to go before I could earn that distinction. Men were an afterthought.

"No," I said finally. "There's no man meant for that seat. But my friend Rosalie will probably join us again in a few minutes. She and I met at NYU, and we've been friends ever since."

"The blonde?" He looked interested, but not in her.

It was a nice change, feeling as though someone were interested in me, and not how I might introduce him to my gorgeous friend.

"Well, I won't keep you," he continued. "I'm just glad to say hi."

"You don't have to leave. Join us."

For a moment, he looked torn. It really was nice to see Edward, even if I didn't remember a thing about him. If Rosalie behaved herself, it could even be a pleasant evening.

"I really can't. I'm here with my friend, Emmett, who…well, he's been keeping your friend occupied, it seems."

I turned to see Rosalie nearly hanging off a guy who looked like a linebacker for the New York Giants. He was enormous, all muscles and dimples—exactly her type.

"We work together," Edward added.

I almost laughed out loud at the thought of Rosalie's disappointment when she found out her new manmeat played with computers instead of footballs. I'd want to be around for that one.

"Well, don't be a stranger," I said politely.

It was unlikely we'd run into each other again, and the thought left me feeling a little sad. I never thought I'd enjoy any connection to Forks, but once I'd found one, I was sad to see it go.

He was rising to leave, but he stopped at my words. A hopeful expression flitted across his face, but it disappeared quickly. For a moment, it looked as though he were steeling himself, and then he spoke.

"Maybe we could get drinks one night this week? Just the two of us?" His face flushed, and he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

I was able to see his whole face for just a moment before the curtain fell again. It was clear and open—not bad at all as faces go. Before I could stop myself, I spoke.

"Of course. That would be nice."

The moment the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them a little. There wasn't anything wrong with getting together for drinks to catch up, but I knew deep down that it would mean more to Edward than just a friendly evening. My subconscious remembered the way he stared at me, and the look of pure joy on his face at my assent told me his feelings hadn't changed much in the last ten years.

I handed him my card anyway, determined that I would see the thing through. A smile split his face, making at least the lower half of it beautiful. I still couldn't see the top half for his glasses and hair, but I couldn't deny he had some gorgeous teeth.

"I'll call you soon to set it up," he promised, standing slowly.

Before I could register everything that had happened, he'd vacated the seat and Rosalie had claimed it again.

"His friend is so hot," she said by way of greeting. "Too bad your guy is so unfortunate. I got a little vibe from him there. Did he manage to ask you out?"

I felt a flare of irritation at her quick dismissal of Edward, but it was replaced by panic over our forthcoming "date."

"Yeah."

"Poor guy. Sucks getting shot down, especially in front of your friends." She tilted her glass and finished off her fourth martini of the night, completely secure in the knowledge that I had controlled my senses enough to say no to a date with a skinny, geeky, awkward blast from my past.

"I said yes."

Rosalie froze, her glass halfway between her mouth and the table. She was so shocked that she could have been a still life painting.

"No. No, no, no. You've done the ultimate _no_, Bella. The pity date. Nothing is ever more awkward than the pity date. He'll be thinking you're into him, and you'll be looking for any way out of the rest of the night."

I didn't see my acceptance of drinks as a _pity date_, but a lot of what she said sounded exactly like what I'd already imagined our future "date" to be like. On one level, Edward Cullen was so far removed from all of the Garrett-mess that I kind of hoped I could reminisce in a safe environment. On the other hand, I knew. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had some pretty high expectations from the upcoming…whatever. Dodging advances while reliving the happy years of high school could end up being a lot more stressful than I wanted or needed.

"Well, it's too late now. I'll have a drink with him, say goodnight, and that will be the end of it."

"You hope." Her gaze was pointed…well, as pointed as her martini-glaze would allow it to be. "And I hope you'll hang in there long enough for me to get to know his friend. No reason we should all suffer, right?"

"You're the best friend a girl could have," I said drily.

oOo

As most of you know, we lost a dear friend this week. I didn't know her, but that doesn't matter. We're all connected by this common thread, and that made her my family. Some lovely and giving people have put together a fundraiser for Gisela's family. You can find more information by visiting fandom4twifang dot blogspot dot com. There will be an outtake of this story in the compilation. I hope you'll take part in some way. God bless and stay safe.


	2. Date

I'm still walking the tightrope without a net. My lovely beta has come down with a cold, so I did this all by myself. Any mistakes are totally mine.

oOo

I didn't mean to be late, but Rosalie insisted I show Edward everything he couldn't have. My dark blue wrap dress clung perfectly without giving anything away, and my borrowed heels were higher than anything I'd ever worn. She wanted him eating his heart out, for some reason, and nearly tied me down when I went after my favorite sweater and jeans. I felt sad for the poor guy as she yanked my hair into submission and sent me on my way ten minutes behind schedule.

When I reached the restaurant, I stumbled over the threshold, just as I'd known I would the moment I put on the ridiculous stilettos. Just before I hit the floor, strong arms caught and held me close, saving me from embarrassment.

A thrill of shot down my spine, and before I could stop myself, I snuggled into the embrace. Whoever held me smelled like soap and mint and just a hint of leather, and about ninety percent of me wanted to follow him wherever he was going and leave poor Edward to have awkward conversations with my empty chair.

_Poor Edward._

"You okay?"

The voice in my ear was low, warm, intimate. Goosebumps trailed in the wake of his breath, down my neck to the clinging material of my dress, and I suppressed a shiver of delight.

_Poor Edward,_ I reminded myself, turning slowly to thank the man who'd rescued me.

The glare of lights off thick, black-framed glasses greeted me. I stumbled again, trying to untangle myself, as I stuttered my apologies.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm… Oh, I'm such a klutz."

The moment I was standing upright and on my own power, I missed his arms, his warmth. Gah, his scent. He smelled so good that I just wanted to bury my nose in his… Oh. The Momma's Boy Sweater.

"That's okay. Are you ready?"

Glancing once more at the brightly woven pullover, I nodded and forced myself to meet his gaze, except I still couldn't see his eyes through the chandelier's reflection in the lenses.

Without another word, he led me to the back of the little café, where the only light was from a candle in the middle of the table. The intimate setting would have been perfect for the man I'd imagined Edward to be when he was holding me at the door, but it hardly seemed appropriate for the awkward man who held my chair for me.

He took the seat across from me and grinned shyly. "This is where they seated me when I got here. I hope it's not too dark."

I waited another beat for him to ask me why I was late, but he simply waited for my response. "It's fine. I'm sorry I was late. I hope you didn't think—"

"It's fine, Bella. I'm glad you came. You look beautiful, by the way."

Heat climbed my neck and settled in my cheeks for the second time since I'd walked through the door. I didn't know how to return the sentiment, so I just muttered a quiet thanks and focused on the flickering flame as our coffee was set in front of us.

"So, what have you been doing since you left Forks?"

It was a safe subject, and I lost myself in the sweeping descriptions of my time in college—how I'd met Rosalie and Alice and they'd pulled me from my shell, how I'd excelled in my writing courses and scored an internship at a small publisher directly after graduation, and how that internship had developed into a steady job as an editor.

"That sounds perfect. You were always writing something, even when you were supposed to be doing something else." His eyes shone with admiration. "I'm glad you've been able to turn what you love into a career."

I averted my eyes at the reminder that he'd watched me much more than politeness dictated in high school, but managed to force an answer. "Well, I don't really write much anymore. I've found that I'm a pretty good developmental editor. I work with authors to flesh out characters, fill plot holes, and focus on the necessary points in the book before another editor takes over. It's a lot of fun, and I think it's pretty rewarding."

Silence fell, and I twiddled my spoon through the coffee that had long since gone cold. There were just a few sips left, and I suffered through them to make the silence seem necessary. When the last of the bitter liquid was gone, I set the cup down and spun it on the delicate plate beneath.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before his shoulders dropped. A wry smile creased his face, slightly higher on the right, and it was so adorable I had a sudden urge to caress his cheek.

"Oh! I'm so sorry." My brain suddenly clicked, and I realized how selfish I'd been, talking only about myself. "What have you been doing? I mean, it sounds like you've been very successful, though I'm still not sure if you fix computers or design buildings."

He ducked his head and shrugged, letting out a small laugh. "You don't have to act interested. I'm just glad to get a chance to see you again."

My heart did a painful little twist at his words, especially since they were accompanied by the sweetest, saddest smile I'd ever seen. Hurting him was suddenly the biggest crime I'd ever committed, and I hated myself for it.

"I am interested, Edward. I really am. And curious, to be honest. I have no idea what a…what did you call it? I have no idea what you do."

"Systems architect." The right side of his lips quirked up again.

I really liked that little smirk. For a moment, with just a quick movement of his surprisingly full mouth, he was the captain of the basketball team, the prom king, and the rebel on a motorcycle, all wrapped up in one seriously ugly sweater. The rush of affection surprised me, making it easier to absorb the words he shared.

I didn't understand a word he said, but I could tell he was intelligent—more so than I had ever imagined. There was talk about networking, and servers, and end users, and lots of letters and numbers that didn't add up to real words. Even without comprehension, I was impressed by him. He seemed modest about his abilities, which I found refreshing. We sat through another cup of coffee and ordered cheesecake to share just to extend the evening. We didn't touch on high school, but instead shared our hopes and dreams for the coming years. Even with our apparent differences, we wanted the same things—security, happiness, companionship, and laughter.

"I guess I should get you home," he finally said, looking at his watch. "We've been here for almost three hours."

I was surprised to learn that. I'd expected awkward and painful, but everything had been effortless after the first few minutes passed. He was so much more than I'd hoped, and my pity had transformed into admiration at some point. New emotions swirled in my heart and stomach as he held my chair again and then the door. My fingers itched to hold his, but I knew it was too soon. He deserved someone who was sure of her feelings, and I was bound by confusion, indecision, and ghosts of the past.

As he held the door to my apartment building, my phone chirped with a text message. I stopped for a moment to check it and realized I'd been gone so long that Rosalie was worried about me.

_You've been gone too long. Did shy geek turn psycho killer once he got you alone? Let me know where to send the ransom money._

"Sorry." I sent Edward a sheepish smile. "We talked so long my roommate got worried about me. I'll let her know I'm home."

He waited politely as I hid the screen with her rude words and typed out my answer.

_On my way up. No worries._

With Rosalie comforted, I took the stairs slowly to the third floor, trying to think of ways to ask him to meet me again. I knew I'd almost blown my chances with my actions and reactions as the night began, but I hoped he still held enough affection for me to give us another shot.

As I rounded the corner to the last flight of stairs, I could see Rosalie's feet. She was waiting to accost me and pump for details. Sure enough, the moment she saw my head appear, she launched.

"That was some pity date, Bella! You didn't have to give him three hours of your time. A quick coffee probably would have sufficed."

Edward stumbled behind me, and I wanted to sink down into the wood of the stairs beneath me and hide forever. My cheeks burned, my heart ached, and my stomach completed an Olympic-worthy acrobatics routine, and all before I could find words to respond. Finally, I found my tongue, but what I said wasn't worth the effort.

"Shut up." It was a hiss, a furious whisper, directed toward Rosalie, but the words were covered by the sound of scrambling wingtips against hollow steps as Edward fled the scene.

Rosalie appeared at the stop of the stairs and watched his retreat. "Whoops. Well, I guess I just saved you some trouble."

I couldn't stop it. The tears sprang forth and started a trail down my face, heating quickly on the flame of my blush.

He was gone. I never got to ask him for another drink, another date, and he'd probably never look at me again. If he thought of me, it wouldn't be with the affection of a high schooler with a crush but with the pain of a man scorned.

He wasn't the pitiful one.

I was.

oOo

There will be an outtake of this offered in the Fandom4TwifanG compilation. You can visit fandom4twifang dot blogspot dot com to learn more.


	3. Nothing

**Many thanks to TiffanyAnne3 for her beta work. I made a few changes after I got it back, so any mistakes are mine**

**oOo**

**Nothing**

_I'm so sorry you heard that. It's not how I feel._

_Please answer me._

_I want to tell you in person, but I don't know how._

I stared at the unanswered texts sent over the course of three hours. It was after one in the morning, meaning he was probably asleep. I hated to consider the alternative—that he was agonizing over Rose's harsh words. I forced myself to set the phone aside and try to get some rest, too, but the sound of his retreating footsteps echoed over and over in my head. He'd tripped and slid down three flights of stairs in his haste to get away.

The tears hadn't stopped since the first had fallen. Rose was convinced I'd lost my mind as she helped me up from the stairs and into the apartment. Even after a pint of Ben and Jerry's, during which I'd spilled my guts and confessed how fascinating I thought he was, she simply watched me like I'd grown another head.

"But…he's nothing, Bella. Just a geek with a high school crush. I thought you'd be glad to get rid of him."

Saltwater fell into my Late Night Snack as I shook my head furiously. "He's not nothing. He was so sweet, Rose. He didn't act offended when I was late, he pulled out my chair for me, he listened to everything I said like I was the most interesting person alive…"

She handed me a tissue to stop my sniffles, but it didn't help much. I needed another almost immediately.

"And he's really interesting. I mean, I still have no clue what he and Emmett do—"

"Wait, Emmett? Emmett works with him?"

I huffed a laugh and kicked her for being so selfish, but because I loved her, I told her anyway. "Yeah. They're consultants. Edward owns the company, and they do really well, but I don't know exactly what it is they do. And they live together up by the park. I mean, they're roommates."

"Huh." Her wheels were turning. "I just assumed they were acquaintances. Sounds like they're pretty close."

I nodded miserably. "He said Emmett's the only person who's ever liked him just for being him. Doesn't care how he dresses or looks, doesn't pressure him to do a whole bunch of guy stuff. They're just…friends. It made me think of you and Alice, how you both kind of took me under your wing at NYU. I connected with him then. I knew exactly what he was talking about."

Rose had the decency to look ashamed, no doubt remembering what a wallflower I'd been before she got ahold of me. Big fish in Forks still equaled minnow in New York City. Without her friendship, I'd have withered and died. I could see she felt a spark of interest in Edward at that very moment, too.

"More. Tell me more."

"I don't know, Rose! I know this is crazy, being so hurt after three hours in his company. I didn't even know him in high school. He said he always watched me writing, which should be creepy, but it's just so sweet. He was so happy for me that I enjoy my job and asked all about my dad. We talked about where we want to go and who we want to be, and he's just…amazing. Not at all geeky on the inside, even if he's shy and quiet and so, so polite."

"Oh, my God. If I'd never seen the guy, I'd think he's perfect for you."

"I know," I wailed, cramming the tissue into my eyes to stop the tears again. "I hate that he's hurting right now, and I know he is. He's so nice and sweet, and I can just see him beating himself up over everything. That's what hurts more than anything, that he's probably feeling like a failure, or that geek he was in high school."

"Well, he is still a geek." Rose couldn't help pointing out the obvious.

I thought of his smirk, his full lips, and the way his glasses tilted when the right side of his mouth lifted with mirth. More than anything, I wondered what that mouth would feel like on mine, but I'd never know.

"I'm feeling like maybe the reaction doesn't fit the problem." Rosalie tried so hard to be pragmatic, though she still passed the tissues like a champ.

"I hurt him, Rose. Well, you did, if we're being honest here. I deserve this, but he doesn't. Not at all."

"You feel like you kicked a puppy." Her face showed understanding for the first time.

"No, dumbass. I feel like I watched you kick a puppy and get away with it."

"Same thing. And he's still not answering?"

I glanced at the phone again, hoping against hope there would be a response. "Nope. Nothing."

**Edward**

I stared at the phone, wishing I had the courage to answer her. What I'd say, I didn't know. I should have known going in that it was a pity date. She hadn't looked overly excited to accept my invitation, but I'd shamelessly played on her high school nostalgia to tip the odds in my favor. That had been my first mistake.

Part of me wanted to respond with a request to never speak to me again, but then I remembered how she'd always had a smile on her face in high school. Always, that was, until the last two weeks of school. Garrett Stone had made the ultimate bonehead move and let her slip from his grasp. I would never forget the tight frown, glistening eyes, and hunched posture she'd carried as everyone else cheered at the coming freedom.

With every urge to tell her to fuck off, there was a memory of something nice she'd done years ago. Bella didn't remember the time she'd picked up my bag after some senior had knocked it from my hands during sophomore year, but I did. She probably didn't remember telling off Tyler Crowley for grabbing shy, sweet Angela Weber's ass in the hall, but I did. It was natural for her to include everyone, and that's why everyone had loved her, especially me.

The other option was to take any morsel she gave me, but I'd found too much strength since high school to allow that. I knew I wasn't handsome, at least not in the obvious and showy way that Emmett was. I didn't have a clue what to wear, but I wasn't about to study GQ just to get one girl to like me.

Emmett crashed through the front door, startling me out of my self-castigation. He grinned and waggled his eyebrows, ready to hear all about my date, but his face fell when he saw my expression.

"Bad?"

I shrugged. What was there to say? Telling him that she'd only agreed to see me out of pity would strip away any last shred of confidence I had. So I clenched my teeth and shrugged again.

"Ooh, two shrugs. Really bad. Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." But suddenly, I did. "She just went because she pitied me. I thought it was too good to be true when she said yes, and it was."

Emmett's eyes widened, and he flopped down on the couch next to me. "Whoa. She told you that?"

"Of course not." I shoved his shoulder. "She's still too nice for that. It was her friend. I walked her home, and her friend was there at the top of the stairs, yelling about how she must have really pitied me to spend so much time with me."

Emmett ran a hand over his head roughly. "Okay. One thing at a time. So much time with you?"

The memory of our three-hour conversation flooded me, and I couldn't stop the smile. I'd been so sure there was a connection, something much deeper than a quick high school reminiscence. I'd planned for thirty minutes of polite conversation, but she'd stuck around and even shared cheesecake with me. She'd been perfect…after the awkward start. She'd been as perfect as I could have hoped.

"Yeah. We talked for three hours. It was really kind of amazing. I couldn't even stop to think about how lucky I was that she was still there."

"That doesn't sound like bad. That sounds like a lot of good."

"Yeah." I ran my fingers over the soft leather of the couch, wondering if her skin might be softer. I was willing to bet it was. Before I could get in too deep, I shook off the thought and let the dark swallow me again.

"But then her friend, that blonde you were talking to, was shouting about how I was just a pity date, and I remembered. I'm not anywhere near her league. I never was."

My best friend stood and pushed my head away from him gently. He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with two beers, one of which I accepted gratefully. We drank in silence for several minutes, and I remembered the day I'd met Emmett. He was a huge, hulking guy who reminded me too much of the football players at Forks High. I'd hated him on sight. He did not share the sentiment. I'd essentially been bullied into being his friend the moment he sat down next to me in class during our sophomore year of college. He'd matched me score for score on tests, convincing me finally that he was much more than a meathead, and I'd finally agreed to hang out after class one night.

He'd never mentioned my clothes, even though I knew I didn't dress like he did. He never commented on my hair or told me how to pick up chicks. I never felt like less than a person when he was around, and he so easily could have dropped lines that ridiculed my single status. Worse, he could have tried to set me up on dates with girls that might have considered me a catch.

I hadn't sat around waiting for Bella…not exactly. Until I'd seen her in the bar, I hadn't even realized she was in the city with me. If I'd known, I probably would have waited around just for her. It was just that every girl I'd met hadn't quite lived up. There hadn't been many, and they were all nice. They just weren't as…magnetic as the girl from my memory.

She was the one who got away. And then the one who got away again.

"I'm such a loser," I moaned.

"Dude, don't take this the wrong way. I've always liked you just like you are. You don't take my shit, and you give it back just as quick. But you're twenty-eight."

I braced myself for the whole "time to lose your virginity" talk, even though he knew I'd given that up to Jessica Stanley in college. She was a nice girl with glasses thicker than mine. It had seemed like a match made in heaven until she started trying to pick out my clothes for me.

"You really can stop wearing the sweaters your mom knits for you."

My heart sank. Even Emmett. "You don't like the way I dress?"

"I don't give a shit what you wear, but I think you do. You made one friend by being yourself and thought everyone else needed to fall in line. And they do, don't get me wrong. But you aren't even that guy anymore. You can take the sweaters off and still be yourself, man."

I pondered that for a moment. He was right, in a way. I'd been so determined to find someone who liked me just the way I was that I'd refused to change anything. I couldn't grow that way. And anyway, any relationship meant compromise. Getting rid of my mom's hideous sweaters was a pretty easy sacrifice.

I ripped the offending fabric over my head and flung it across the room.

"It's a good start." Emmett clinked his bottle against mine and stood. "I'm going to bed. Don't let it get to you."

As I lay in bed later, I realized I didn't feel any better. She hadn't even said the words, but they cut just as deeply as if I'd heard them from her lips. Pity date. That's all I'd been, and it made me feel like nothing.

oOo

I appreciate all the reviews more than you know. I promise I will answer them all, but it's slow going. Your support and enjoyment means the world to me. Also, m7707 has started posting a new story called True Nature. I highly recommend.


	4. War

Special thanks to TiffanyAnne3 for helping me clean up my act and to m7707 for her rec yesterday. I love them both more than I can bear.

Edward's still talking here.

oOo

Pounding in my head woke me the next morning, and I cursed the late-night beer I'd had with Emmett. After sitting up and reaching for my glasses, I realized it wasn't my head at all. Someone was trying to break the door down by the sound of things.

I waited for a moment to see if Emmett would answer, but the knocking continued. With a sigh, I dragged some sweats over my boxers and stumbled to the door. The moment I opened it, I wanted to slam it shut.

"Whoa, Urkel. You've got a bangin' body under those vomitous sweaters."

Bella's blonde friend stood on the threshold looking me up and down with a gleam in her eye. She stepped past me into the apartment without waiting for an invitation.

"Um, come in, won't you?" I gestured wildly to illustrate my point, but it was lost on her.

"You're not answering Bella's texts."

She got right to the point. I felt woefully underdressed for such a conversation, so I excused myself to find a shirt. Most of me hoped she'd be gone when I got back, but my luck had run out the moment Bella and I had left the restaurant the night before.

"So, Edward. You're not answering Bella's messages. Care to tell me why?"

"Um, I'm not sure it's your business." I didn't know where the backbone came from, but there it was nonetheless.

"I beg to differ. When my best friend cries all night, it becomes my business. Is it so hard to just answer, even if it's to tell her not to bother?"

Her words were a blow to the chest, knocking the breath right out of me. Bella had cried? Over me?

"You want her to bother, huh?" Rosalie interpreted the situation correctly. She was a smart girl.

It took some concentration, but I finally found the words I needed to say. "I know what you both think of me. I've never been good looking or athletic—"

Her slow perusal of my body interrupted me, and her smirk was louder than any statement she could have made. My cheeks heated, and I crossed my arms over my chest in defense.

"I'm no one's pity date. I can find someone who likes me as I am, and it was obvious Bella just doesn't."

"See, I think you're wrong. Take a seat, Urkel."

I stood my ground and raised an eyebrow. When she sat down and gestured again for me to do the same, I simply looked down my nose at her. The effect was ruined when my glasses slipped, but I was still proud of myself for not giving in.

"You're right," she finally conceded with a grin. "Sit down, _Edward_. Please."

I plopped down to appease her but still refused to talk. It bothered me that Bella had cried all night, especially since she was the one who'd done wrong. Perhaps she'd cried guilty tears?

"You weren't a pity date to her, Edward. It may have started that way, but she really likes you. She had a great time, and I messed that up for her. I'm here to apologize for what I said and let you know she just doesn't feel that way."

"Right. You mean she wouldn't feel that way if I looked better. I know I'm not in her league at all. I never was. I trailed behind her like a puppy in high school, wagging my tail at any little treat she gave me. She's a nice girl, but even nice girls don't go for the geeks."

Rosalie stood and grabbed my hand. "Come on, Urk—uh, Edward. Let's see what kind of guy you've got under these glasses and that crazy hair."

Before I could say another word, she snatched the frames from my face and dragged me to my bedroom. I stumbled along, stepping around Emmett's shoes and briefcase as I moved. She had such control and authority that I didn't even question how she decided which room was mine.

"So you don't think you're good enough, huh?" She didn't even look back as she started sorting through my closet at warp speed.

"What? No. I mean, I like myself fine. I just know I'm not what she needs."

"Didja ask her?" the blonde asked. Her words were muffled by a decade's worth of gifts from my well-meaning mother. "Jesus, you do own a lot of sweaters."

"I didn't have to ask her. You told me."

She extricated herself from the closet and turned a rueful smile in my direction. "I'm loud and obnoxious and always inappropriate. You can't listen to me."

Her self-description made me think of Emmett, which made me wonder where he was, which then made me wonder how she'd even known where to find me. I had my suspicions.

"How'd you even know where I live?"

"Emmett."

Just as I'd thought. "Traitor."

"Whatever. I'm not going to hurt you. I wanna help you get the girl. Put these on and meet me in the bathroom."

She didn't leave a lot of room for argument, so I pulled on the polo and jeans she'd assigned. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd worn either article of clothing. Maybe it really was time for a wardrobe overhaul.

When I found her in the bathroom, she'd pulled out all of Emmett's hair products. I marveled at her comfort in a stranger's home, but I had a feeling Emmett wouldn't have assigned or respected any boundaries if the situation had been reversed. She was a female version of my best friend, and that made me like her just a little bit.

"So you and Emmett, huh?"

"Yeah. It's not like that…yet. We kept in touch after we met the other night, but we haven't seen each other again. I just told him I needed help, and he gave it. So here I am. Sit."

I obeyed again without question and listened to her ramble as she attempted to tame my hair.

"He thinks the world of you, you know. I mean, I'd have done this for Bella anyway, but after hearing from him what a great guy you really are… Well, I'm sorry I said what I said."

"It is what it is."

Rosalie put her finger under my chin and forced me to look at her. "No. It's not at all what you say it is. You're a great guy with a hot body. Smart, witty, successful. This is what I see…what I should have seen before. This is who you are. Not your glasses or your hair or your ridiculous sweaters. Be that guy, Edward."

She released my head with her final words and pointed to the mirror. The blurry reflection looked nothing like me. I reached for my glasses, but she shook her head with a grin.

"Get contacts. Until then, I'll make sure you don't die. Let's go. Your girl's waiting for you."

I warred with myself over demanding my glasses or meeting Bella face to face as a completely new man. Was I weak for giving in and becoming what I thought she wanted me to be? Was I strong for allowing myself to grow and change? The thoughts circled in my brain as I let Rosalie lead me to the elevator and to a cab, but I wasn't any closer to an answer by the time we reached her building.

"This is strong, right? I mean, I'm growing and not folding."

She didn't answer. Instead, she grabbed my hand and pulled me from the taxi, depositing me on the sidewalk just as Emmett would have. Her expression was soft, though. I didn't know what that meant, and she didn't give me time to find out.

"She doesn't know you're coming. I'm supposed to be at yoga. She knows something's up because I let her beg out. I never let her beg out of yoga. I got a free pass this time, so don't screw it up."

oOo

Your reviews make me smile. Thank you so much for the love.


	5. Spoils

Many thanks to TiffanyAnne3 for her help. She knows all, so any remaining mistakes are mine.

oOo

"Well, knock."

Rosalie watched me from the stairway, hidden where I'd stood when I'd heard the words that had pretty much ruined my year. I faced the door and took several deep breaths, working my way up to take her advice. Or rather, her order.

"Damn it, Edward. Knock on the door. Put her out of her misery! And yourself." She was hissing and ducked her head when she realized how loud she was. "Go on."

The newfound strength coursing through me lifted my arm without my brain's consent. Maybe it was my heart finally acting of its own accord. Either way, knuckles met wood, and there was no turning back.

Before I could gather my wits, she was there, eyes wide, hair mussed, and tiny pajamas beckoning. God, she was everything I'd ever wanted, and I'd almost let it go.

"Jesus… Edward? Is that you?"

"Um, yeah. Hey. Hey, Bella. Um."

Rosalie's snicker from the stairs helped me locate my balls and my brain. I shot a quick glare in her direction, clueing Bella in on the situation.

"Rose? What's going on?"

With a sigh, Rosalie climbed the remaining stairs and met us at the door. "Nice going, genius. Still gotta work on the presentation."

"Can someone tell me… Wow, Edward. What's going on?"

"Let's move this inside." Rosalie pushed us all into the foyer and shut the door behind her. "Now. Your turn, genius. Don't blow it this time."

Bella and I watched the inappropriate blonde disappear into a bedroom before turning back to each other. I offered a smile, hoping it wasn't as weak as it felt.

"You're here," she whispered, reaching up to touch my cheek.

Her fingers never met my skin, though. Trembling, she pulled her arm back and hugged herself tightly. Her warm, brown, beautiful eyes filled with tears, and she ducked her head to hide them.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I can't even imagine what you were thinking last night when you went home. She's… I mean… I don't feel that way at all. I really had such a good time with you, and I just wanted to—"

"Hey," I interrupted. "It's okay. She told me everything. I mean, I knew you weren't really into going in the first place, but I thought we had a great time, too. I should have… I mean, I shouldn't have run. I should have let you talk."

We stood and stared at each other for several moments, wordless but still communicating everything. I could see in her eyes how very sorry she was, and perhaps in mine, she could see she was forgiven without question.

"I'm going to confess some things, and I don't want them to scare you."

Her eyes widened, but she nodded quickly. "Want to sit down for this?"

I took the offer and patted the cushion next to me. When she was seated, I took a deep breath and started without making a plan.

"You were the nicest person at Forks. I know you don't remember me, but that's okay."

"I do remember you," she interrupted. "We were in a few classes together. I wasn't lying when I said it was just so long and I didn't expect to see anyone from Forks in New York."

With a nod, I acknowledged her sweet assurances. "I remember every interaction we had, which probably isn't healthy. Your memories are probably closer to the right way of handling things. But that doesn't change the fact that I remember the words you said when Mike Newton knocked my bag out of my hands sophomore year. Or that I remember your smile when you handed me a pen after mine broke in English class. You once interrupted Tyler Crowley before he could drag me into the bathroom to get in a few punches, and you didn't even know you'd done it."

She didn't remember any of those things; I could tell by the expression on her face. With her arms wrapped around her knees, she rocked back and forth as I relived every moment we'd shared in high school—even those she'd been unaware of.

"You always smiled when we passed in the hall, and it wasn't one of those fake ones or one that told me you were planning my next torment. You didn't make faces when we were assigned to work together. You fell down in gym class once to take the attention away from me after I got hit in the nose with the volleyball."

Bella let out a bark of laughter and almost fell off the couch. "I did not pretend to fall down, Edward. I was terrible in P.E. Don't you remember? Did you really think I was being clumsy just to keep people from making fun of you?"

"When you put it that way, it does sound too good to be true. Actually, now that I think about it, you did trip a lot."

"I still do."

"God, that's so cute."

She rearranged herself on the couch, her cheeks flushed with brilliant color. I wanted to touch her, to hold her close, but I couldn't until she knew it all.

"I thought about you every day after graduation. I know that sounds ridiculous and probably makes you think I had a Bella shrine or something. I swear I didn't. I just liked you so much, and something reminded me of you at least once a day. I thought you were a hallucination when I saw you in the bar. I'd already said hello before I realized what I was doing. I can't blame you for saying yes before you realized what you were doing."

"Stop," she whispered.

And there it was. I'd finally crossed the line and scared the shit out of her. I started to stand and let myself out, but I felt her finger on my wrist. Just a simple touch, but it annihilated me. I couldn't stand, much less walk out the door.

"Did you do this for me?" she finally asked.

I started to say no, that I'd done it for me, but I realized that was a lie. Without her, I would never have had the strength or even the desire to step outside my comfort zone. I'd have still been wearing one of my ugly sweaters. With no other truth available, I nodded.

She smiled sadly and reached for my hand. "You didn't need to, you know. You're a great guy, no matter what you're wearing. Did Rosalie do this to you?"

Again, with no other answer to offer, I nodded.

"Rosalie!" she called. "Get out here."

When her roommate appeared, Bella pasted a scowl on her face. "Where are his glasses, Rose?"

A sheepish smile crossed the blonde's face. "I stole them. Spoils of war and all."

Bella stood and stomped across the room. When she reached her friend, she held out her hand in a "gimme" motion. Rosalie giggled and placed the glasses on Bella's palm. When she had my ridiculous black frames in her hand, Bella turned and faced me with a sweet smile. I was still frozen from her touch and held captive by her gaze.

Whatever she was going to do with my eyewear, I had no choice but to support her. Vaguely, I wondered if she might toss them in the trash and fully embrace the new me. If that was what she chose, I was okay with it. I knew her, though. She probably just wanted to make sure they were returned for safekeeping.

She plopped down on the footrest in front of me with a smile. "Look, Edward."

Nothing good ever started that way. I was waiting for the "it's not you, it's me." I had to let her speak, though. I'd taken that from her the night before.

"You're gorgeous. I mean, really. Beautiful eyes, amazing hair, perfect smile. You're gorgeous. I need you to know that."

My heart stopped at her words. She wasn't lying; I could tell. There was nothing but sincerity in her voice, telling me she believed everything she said, even if I didn't. Even ten years later, she was still the sweetest girl in the room. Instead of arguing, which would have been my tactic in the past, I smiled back.

"Thank you."

Without another word, she reached up and placed my glasses back on the bridge of my nose. Her face came into focus, her lips full, pink, and tipped up just a bit at the ends.

She smoothed the hair at my temples over the frames, and then her fingers were on my scalp, scratching, pulling, mussing, and massaging. I nearly purred at her attention, but I forced myself to keep a neutral, if not quizzical, expression. When she pulled her hands away, a huge smile lit her face.

"There. That's the guy I liked so much last night. Hey, Edward."

"Hi, Bella."

Without warning, she launched herself at me and covered my mouth with hers. I froze, sure I'd just entered an alternate reality, but her hands were hot on my neck, and her lips sweet and sure on mine.

"Jesus, and you're still a goof. Kiss her back, dumbass." Rosalie offered her sage advice from the corner of the room.

Bella giggled into my mouth, the sound and sensation like nothing I'd ever felt before. I wrapped my left arm around her waist, my right hand around the back of her neck, and then pulled her flush against me. Feeling the warmth of her slight body against my chest was just one more reason to get rid of all my sweaters. I wanted nothing between us ever again.

I'd never imagined I might feel her kiss, taste her tongue, but she traced my lips and asked for entrance, and I gave it. I took everything she gave and then returned it to her with years of pent up adoration and affection.

"Just like you are," she gasped into my mouth. "I want you just like you are."

I groaned, pressing kisses down the column of her throat to the top of her ratty pajama T-shirt. "You've got me. All of me, Bella. Except the sweaters. I'm going to burn those and tell my mom I gave them to the homeless shelter."

"Not a chance in hell. The sweaters stay. You don't have to wear them all the time, but I reserve the right to make special requests."

"Fair enough," I conceded, suddenly loving those sweaters more than I'd ever pretended to.

"Okay, now it's just gotten weird," Rosalie griped.

I didn't care. With Bella leaning in for another kiss, I felt like the luckiest bastard alive. Pity that.

oOo

It's no secret; m7707 owns me. I hope you're reading True Nature. Give it a shot for something different.


	6. Fair Enough

I hadn't planned to write this little futuretake at all, but I was so overwhelmed by all the favorites and reviews last week that I simply had to. Please accept this humble thank you for the love you've shown pitiful Edward and the Bella who liked him just as he was.

oOo

"I still don't really understand it all." I ran a finger down the side of the machine, feeling the hum of the fans inside.

Edward pulled a keyboard from the rack of computer servers, just like something Jack Bauer always did on television, and shrugged. "I come in, talk to the company to find out what their needs are, and then design a network for them."

I walked down the row between the things I did not understand, getting a feel for the magnitude of the information stored and transmitted from that very room. The space was at least a thousand square feet, and there were six rows of massive machines, all thrumming and glowing and blinking importantly.

"So you decided how many of these things this company needed?"

"Pretty much. And then I helped install them, and, um… How to say it so you understand…connect them to each other and the computers and laptops."

There was no way to really comprehend the magnitude of what Edward told me, but I had just enough knowledge to know that he was brilliant. "You do firewalls and security and all that stuff?"

He smirked—that little twist of lips that told me how cute he thought I was. It always thrilled him when I tried to wrap my head around what he did for a living, even if I remained clueless after every explanation and demonstration.

"Among other things. You know how you get an email from one of the authors you work with?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, it's part of my job to make sure your email inbox is set up correctly. That's just the beginning, though. Think of how many people are in your office and how many email addresses have to be kept separate. The building we're in now houses ten times that many people, and their west coast office has double that. I make sure all that information gets where it's supposed to be, and then I make sure it's all backed up in case something goes wrong."

I nodded, pretending to understand, when really, I just couldn't. The sheer magnitude of his job, his genius, often overwhelmed me, leaving no other reaction than a dumbfounded shake of my head.

"So… What are you doing here?"

Nothing he'd covered explained why he had to get up in the middle of the night to rush to his client's aid.

"This bank of storage is down, and it's where the medical records are kept." He pointed to a section that had been suspiciously silent during our visit.

"Ohhh." Even I knew how essential medical records were. My boyfriend was so important. It was more than a little hot. "Did you try turning it off and then back on again?"

Edward snorted a laugh at the quote from his favorite TV show and shook his head. "That's the first thing I tried, baby. But you get points for excellent troubleshooting."

I allowed the implied pat to the head, like I was a puppy or something, and stepped back to watch him work in silence. His face was a mask of concentration—brows furrowed, lips pursed, jaw clenched. With is new haircut, I was able to see every expression, and he was beautiful.

Suddenly, the whole wall of machines lit up and started whirring like crazy. I let out a shout of excitement, thrilled about something for which I had zero understanding. All I knew was that he'd just experienced victory. His echoing shout told me I'd been right to celebrate.

The glowing blue on the front of the storage machines illuminated the aisle where we stood, and I lost myself if the rhythmic flashing and soothing hum.

"It's kind of pretty," I remarked. I didn't dare touch anything, but my fingers reached for the hypnotic lights anyway.

Edward stood abruptly and left me alone among the millions of dollars' worth of technology without a word. I started to call after him, but the overhead lights went out before I could make a sound. I didn't think he'd leave me there, whether on purpose or for a joke, but fear started to crawl over me anyway. The room was a maze, and I was stuck in the middle, surrounded by angrily buzzing computer servers.

"Prettier now?"

Edward's breath on the back of my neck startled me. His words were low and soothing, but my heart still picked up the pace and tried to gallop out of my chest.

"You scared me." I whirled around, ready to give him a lashing, but he looked so contrite in the low light from the surrounding servers that I couldn't.

"Did you think I'd left you?" His brow furrowed once more, but this time in concern. "Baby, I never would. Never."

He reached for my hips and pulled me closer. Thumbs caressed a soothing path down my waist with just enough pressure to let me know he wasn't teasing. The ambient light added a touch of romance, which almost made me giggle. Who knew computers could be sexy?

"I know you wouldn't. I'm just overwhelmed here with all this stuff and everything you do. I'm like a fish out of water. I don't really belong here, do I?"

Edward's frown grew more serious. "You belong wherever I am, Bella. Whether you know it or not, you're here all the time…with me. There's always a place for you in my thoughts, even when I'm doing 'all this stuff.'"

I melted into his embrace and soaked in his words. The buzzing machines, which had seemed so threatening when I was afraid, cast his face in shadows and light, making him look more handsome than ever.

"I'm so proud of you, Edward."

He looked down and blushed, still unaccustomed to praise. After a lifetime of ridicule for the way he dressed and the job he did, even my most ardent attention failed to lift him up.

"I'm serious. You're amazing—so smart and calm and collected. This company knew they could trust you with their most crucial information, and that's the highest praise you could get."

"No," he said softly. "Anything from your lips is still higher."

"Jesus," I whispered, thrills coursing from my spine to the tips of my fingers.

His words…his words were always so full of respect and devotion, and I felt them all the way down to the marrow.

I rose up on my toes, struggling to reach his mouth with mine. When he realized what I was doing, he swiftly leaned down to capture my lips, taking every ounce of admiration I had to give. Even after six months of calling him mine, of being his in almost every sense of the word, his kiss still annihilated me.

Warm lips against mine, softly teasing and nipping against my mouth, weakened my knees and had me clinging to his shoulders. The tip of his tongue slipped across my bottom lip, tenderly pressed against mine, delving slowly and surely in a dance we'd perfected. The familiarity didn't diminish the arousal, but instead added sweetness and joy to the pure art of his kiss.

"Edward," I whispered, pulling back for just a moment from the heaven of his mouth. "I love you."

His eyes reflected the words we'd not yet said. I knew how he felt—had known for quite some time—but he'd waited for me to catch up with patience and the deepest understanding. Strong fingers pressed against my skin as he pulled me even closer, the happiness and contentment evident on his face.

"You know I love you, too." His voice was hoarse and strained with emotion, sending my heart into wild somersaults.

"I love you so much. I thank God every day that you gave me another chance to get to know you, the real you, so that I could fall in love with you...and your sweaters."

"Stupid sweaters," he mumbled. "Now that I know for sure you're mine, they're gone. You've had your fun; now it's time for the bonfire."

I giggled and pressed another kiss to his lips, prompting him to sweep me into another burning embrace.

"We better get out of here before I have my way with you on the floor among all these servers," I whispered.

"I'd never be able to work here again."

"Embarrassed?" I pouted just a little bit at the thought.

"Hardly. If I ever had to fix these things with while remembering you naked right here on this floor, I'd spend most of my day trying to hide from the waist down."

"Then let's go home. I want one more night with your silly sweaters before you get rid of them all."

"Fair enough."

oOo

Special thanks to JadaPattinson for recommending this on Twitter. If you know of anyone else who's shared, please let me know so I can thank them. Your support has been so wonderful.


End file.
